Super Eco

Photo credit: InfiniteCosmosGirl, Etsy

Ever agonize about the toxins lurking in your sex toys in the heat of passion? Probably not, since pondering what parabens and phthalates can do to you—and your most sensitive parts—not to mention Mother Nature, is a real show-stopper.

Most of us don’t know how dangerous petrochemical loaded vibrators, dildos and slip-n-slides (lubricants) are. And once you do, it’s hard to hit the high notes when you’re preoccupied with green guilt. So what are we supposed to do? Go without our favorite bedside toys? As if we could. The solution is simple: dump those hazardous (battery-powered) habits in favor of greener ones. Ease into it, one organic toy replacement at a time. And don’t forget the vegan lube.

Try these 5 funs ways to achieve eco-sexier adult playtime:

1. Green your vibes.

Turn-ons: Spicing up your secret drawer with greener, gentler vibes—(for you, your playmate and the earth). The latest vegan vibrators come in an arousing array of non-toxic, non-petrochemical, hypoallergenic, rechargeable shapes, sizes and speeds.

• Try a high-satisfaction, low-carbon naughty print bio-vibe from EarthErotics and Organic Pleasures.
• Or, give yourself a Solar Sensation, a small-but-mighty bullet vibrator that gets its vibes from where the sun shines. The “unit” doubles as a cell phone, so you can give it up to the Sun Gods practically anywhere, anytime. One problem: it takes five looong, super sunny hours to charge, a major turn-off if you live in, say, Seattle.
• Sustainably made, recyclable Pyrex glass dildos are a smooth, sturdy alternative, too. They’re chip-proof (they’d better be) and hand-blown from nonporous glass that doesn’t trap bacteria like rubber/plastic vibes. Toss them in the microwave or freezer for a spicy climate change. The expensive (about $82 and up) handled wands come in a parade of candy colors, some filigreed with 24-karat gold, others glow-in-the-dark. Plus, they’re non-toxic and dishwasher safe. Just don’t forget your glass delight in the dishwasher for someone else to discover.
• Get yours, along with an organic (orgasmic?) Forest Stewardship Certified hardwood prostate Romp, in Babeland.

2. Make good, clean (lube) love.

Turn-ons: Rubbing on sustainably sexy slip-n-slides that are good for you, your (bamboo) sheets and the environment. Most environmentally friendly personal lubricants are water-based and therefore safe to use with most contraceptives, sex toys and latex condoms. Check the label to be sure.

• Certified organic Hathor Aphrodisia Lube adds a botanical squirt (trust us, you won’t need much more) of green-guilt free excitement to your foreplay. The most vanilla (plain) of the vegan lubes doesn’t smell or taste like anything, but the consistency is perfect—not too thick, not too thin.
• Or, if you prefer erotic essential oils, smooth on some wild (and wild-crafted) Good Clean Love and eat it for dessert. (Note: lubricant oils are not latex or vegan condom compatible.) Light your way with Good Clean Love’s vegan, pesticide-free hemp and soybean Passion Candle, then drizzle your lover with the hot, melted aromatic oil for a sensual massage.
• If you crave more flavor, try a sweet lick of O’MY. The all-natural lubricant comes in eight juicy, artificial color- and paraben-free flavors, including blueberry and strawberry cheesecake. Yum! Edible O’MY aces the oral exam. The second best part? No calories.

3. Spank sustainably.

Turn-ons: A not-so-Earth-punishing peek at the latest in S&M eco-kink reveals sustainable backside paddles, recycled bike inner tube flogging whips, even organic hemp bondage rope and recycled paper love (duct) tape. Yep, now you can spank your partner ... without whipping the environment, because you have to be cruel to be kind.

• When earth-minded erotic shoppers want edgier sex gear, specifically eco-BDSM hardware, they flock to sites like VeganErotica.com, all things bondage with a conscience. Their animal cruelty-free (yet human pain-inflicting?) fetish tools (harnesses, collars, I’ll let you imagine the rest) deliver the sting of leather without having a cow. Submit to that, but before you do, you'd better know your limits, aka “safe words.”
• Another option: fair-trade Indian wood spanking paddles might be worth a swing. Find them at Coco de Mer, a luxury (mostly) green lingerie and bondage boutique. Coco’s got ancient Japanese rope play naturally tied down (or up), too.

4. Look hot in eco-sexy fantasy wear.

Turn-ons: Slipping into (and out of) silky, sustainable lingerie—stripped naked of the toxic trio: nylon/spandex/polyester. You get all the benefits (looking good enough to eat, driving your partner wild) with less of an environmental impact. With so many sexy carbon neutral choices for the taking (off), it's never been easier to to eco-update your boudoir, from dainty bamboo thongs to biodegradable bustiers, even fair trade fetish wear.

• Accentuate your curves in a designer eco chic corset from Rene Geneva Designs. Their (pricey, $248.00 - $649.00) formaldehyde-free fabrics are backed by the Sustainable Biodegradable Product (SBP) rating and their hand-sewn raw silks are left beautifully undyed. Lace up in a fair trade Tribal Bark Corset, a Cidada Hemp Corset, or choose from 10 more stunning (and slimming) cinchers.
• Be a bedroom bombshell in Stella McCartney's revealing new line of sexy, green lingerie. Nearly all of her elegant, lacy G-strings, teddies, thigh highs and garter belts share one naughty common thread: sheer peek-a-boo see-through.
• Take it all off ... except for a pair of vegan vixen stiletto pumps. These sexy (affordable - $42.50) peep-toe platforms should do the trick. Or, strut these animal free zebras. If you must wear something else, why not this suspense-building hemp blindfold from Passion for the Planet?

5. Recycle your naughty bits.

Turn-ons: Doing something good with something that’s done you good.

Have you ever wondered what becomes of unwanted sex toys? Yup, they get trashed, but they don’t have to. Believe it or not, you can recycle your worn out plug-in “boyfriend,” and it's less embarrassing than you’d think.

• Simply mail your retired toys and ticklers to adulttoyrecycling.com. They’ll disassemble them and recycle the batteries and bits. Hmm … What do shafted vibrators get upcycled into? Try not to think about it.
• Declare amnesty for your Rabbit Vibrator by taking LoveHoney's "ecogasmic" recycling pledge. Send them your misfit toys for recycling and they'll mail you double the good vibes for half the price.

There it is. From the vanilla (flavored) to the downright eco-freaky, all the tools you need to green that hidden sex toy stash. Now go get busy!