Photo credit:
robstephaustralia's, flickr
If you’re sucking on an artificially raspberry-flavored candy, you might want to spit out before reading on. All done? Good. Here comes the bad news: that wanna-be raspberry tang you love probably comes from a beaver’s back end, technically his anal glands. Mmm, tasty!
Essence of beaver behind isn’t really all that far off from sweet, sweet bee spit, which most of us happily lap up in honey. Disgusting animal (and human) bodily leftovers lurk in a motley crew of prefab foods. Then there's the gritty stuff—tar and sand (silicon dioxide). While we’re at it, let’s add pucker face sweets like Nerds and Good ‘N Plenty to the list of processed junk that puts bug guts and other nauseating ingredients (crushed cow ovaries!) on the tip of our tongues. Um, 'last I checked, pregnant horse pee isn’t kosher.
Here, have a heaping taste of five more hidden nasties lurking in junk food (you know you want to):
1. L-Cystine—aka human and animal hair, or, more precisely, amino acids derived from them. It’s used in breads, croissants, bagels, donuts, melba toast, etc. Bonus: cow horns and chicken feathers also put that special hairy something in pizza crust.
2. Beetle juice—slippery secretions from the Lac beetle. We know it as confectioner’s glaze—that shiny coating on “time release” pills and candies like Skittles and M&M’s. Those poor Laccifer laccaso bugs are the reason they “melt in your mouth and not in your hand.” Would you eat wood finish and vinyl records too?
3. Coal tar—aka Blue No. 1 food coloring, a carcinogenic additive already banned in most European countries. But the FDA still thinks its safe for Americans??? Nerds Rope, Jelly Belly beans, Skittles, M&Ms and an ocean of blue drinks/sodas, yogurts and ice creams are also all tarred-up.
4. K-Carmine—aka E120 or Crimson Lake. The blood red hue comes to us care of dried, then boiled female cochineal bugs. The sacrificed buggers are in candy, yogurt, soda, lipstick, blush, paint and pen ink.
5. Lanolin—greasy yellow earwax-like secretion from sheep and other wool-bearing animals. We smear liquid wool grease and sweat on our bodies after showering (lotion), and we chew it in popular bubble gums, too.
You know what they say: You are what you eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m all set with "being" anything that oozes from pores, human or animal.





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Makes you want to quit eating altogether!! I think I would rather not know
Why do you bash the artificial, then when a "natural" form is used you also bash that? Cystine is an amino acid found in hair. It is "derived" from hair. True, it is found in high concentration in hair horn and hooves, but it is in every animal. Beetle juice and Carmine, do you really have a problem with these? I suppose it sounds gross, but human civilization have been using these for thousands of years. Lanolin, a truly ""natural" emollient. It is the oil secreted by sheep and it coats the wool. When sheep are sheared, the wool is boiled. The scum that rises to the top has lanolin that is refined (separated from the rest of the gunk) and sold as refined or purified lanolin.
I would say the fear mongering stirred up by this post is worse than the actual products,. You need to make up your mind whether you want ot bash the natural or the artificial.
I think the point is that we're not told what's in the food we eat. I'm totally fine eating beetles and hair if I know about it beforehand and can make the choice to do so or not. But hiding ANY food ingredient, cosmetic ingredient, etc under a pseudonym, whether it's a "natural" ingredient (petroleum is a natural ingredient, derived from stuff under ground, but I wouldn't want to eat it) or a synthetic chemical, is not cool.
Ms. Murphy, I must respectfully disagree with you. I also apologize for my misspellings in my previous comment! There is no excuse for not re-reading before you hit the send. I digress.
When I read things such as "...you love probably comes from a beaver's back end, technically his anal glands. Mmm, tasty!", "Disgusting animal (and human) bodily leftovers lurk in a motley crew of prefab foods.", "...puts bug guts and other nauseating ingredients (crushed cow ovaries!)", and "...five more hidden nasties lurking in junk food", that really says to me I need to avoid all these nasty additives because they are gross and disgusting.
The common saying goes, "ignorance is no excuse" does it not? FOr an educated person in this day and age to claim not to know (or where to find out) what cystine, karmine or lanolin are is pretty farfetched. The entire tone of this article was to gross people out.
Pavlina,
Please don't apologize for spelling errors in your comment. Who among us hasn't made minor grammar and spelling mistakes while leaving comments on a blog? It's totally normal. We all do it.
Regarding your most recent comment, yes, you are correct re: the tone of my blog post. I purposely employed fun, lighthearted (even at times disgusting) descriptors to poke fun at the concept that there is nary a food we can eat any longer and to poke fun at how far some people are willing to go to avoid certain ingredients at all costs. I was being tongue-in-cheek throughout.
However, I'm not a big fan of synthetic additives in my food. Keep in mind, I'm typing this while eating heaping spoonfuls of hot Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I try to minimize how much processed food I and my children eat, but I'm not so hardcore and extreme as to avoid all processed foods.
Like everything else in life, we must make certain compromises with our diets, based on several factors, including our grocery budget, personal tastes and the extent to which we are informed about natural and unnatural food ingredients. I was merely having a great time writing a post about how odd some of the foods we eat are. Some additives, natural or not, are truly repulsive. Does that mean I don't eat some of them? Certainly not.
Thanks to all who commented for contributing to this conversation. I'm glad for your readership. Ps. I didn't spell check this either ... don't have time at the moment. My Mac 'n cheese calls.
Where you see fear-mongering, Pavlina, I see dry humor. If writers were limited to facts without any style or personal additions, it would be really boring online. There's no pretense of being limited to pure facts here - it's editorial, and it's just fine as it is.
Honestly, when I read this, I didn't really care about animal derivates, so long as it's not toxic. (one of those is). It's interesting to read about all the same. But some people will care. I know a few vegans who are very careful about all the products in what they consume.
(I'm educated and well read and still don't know what those things are, though I might have seen those names in passing. My field isn't nutrition or chemistry!)