Super Eco

Photo credit: baskykes, flickr

In 1966 Mick Jagger wanted to paint the world black and blot out the sun. And you thought that was a cry for help then?! Now, four exponentially warmer decades later, Energy Secretary Steven Chu wants to paint the whole world white to put global warming on ice, at least for a while.

Yes, simply whitewashing every last rooftop, roadway and a gazillion other surfaces bone white could save our collective, C02-emitting hineys from the sizzle of the eternal frying pan. Nooo, really?! Why didn't we think of this earlier, especially those of you chilling in white, cool-in-the-shade hybrids? Lighter colors=cooler temps. So, let's all take a moment to sigh a big, shame-inducing "DERRRR!" 

But of course the skeptics wonder if President Obama's Nobel Prize-nabbing top greenie was under the influence of, say, VOC-spewing paint fumes when he suggested the mind-numbingly low-tech potential solution in London this week. Chu, in effect, is saying, "(taking) all the buildings and make their roofs white" and changing all blacktop paved roads into (driver-blinding?) whitetop could slash greenhouse gas emissions to the tune of 11 years worth of exhaust pipe burps. A white all-over world would reflect the sun back where it does shine, possibly shining a one-time CO2 reduction of 44 billion tons upon we wasteful humans.

Hmmm ... How soon will Old Big Lips--and everyone else in the world--change his tune to "Paint it White"? Who already has? And, I wonder, what will our green, blue and brown planet look like from space post-whitewashing? A swirling volleyball? A clumpy snowball? I'm going with the latter. It would be way cooler, that is if it doesn't melt first.

Stock up on VOC-free Green Seal certified exterior paint and do your part to save the world from a giant, extended asthma attack. Hurry, mom says it's okay to paint the world white only before Labor Day.