Super Eco

Photo credit: Patrick Denker

Oh, no! It's June 11. Tomorrow your analog TV will be toast, and when the ensuing "e-waste tsunami" spills over, so too will our landfills. That is unless we Last-Minute-Louies hurry up and a) shell out for a converter box or b) upgrade to a DTV ... by tomorrow!

Did I mention that chucking your TV is illegal in most states? TVs old and new are ticking time bombs of lead and neuro-toxic metals like mercury, cadmium and copper. So nix that idea.

Time is up for those of us who haven't done squat yet (myself included). T minus 24 and counting, people! The much-ballyhooed June 12 digital television switch is only ONE day away. Millions of out-dated boob tubes will be kicked to the curb and into the trash heap, where they'll ooze poisonous e-waste, probably for all eternity.

Nah, not your old TV. You're too squeaky green to go out like a careless e-waster. You'd better be. I know where some of you live. Including (I hope) my husband, who should be converting our analog brain drainer in the garage right now, or our Saturday night Mad TV spooning is history. We'll be forced to hire a sitter and go on a date. Date? What's that?

Okay. Don't freak. Here's what we can do--mostly quickly and greenly--to upgrade to digital without karma-killing our waste streams and Mama Earth. I'll give you eight ideas. You do the rest.

Here goes:

1. In with the old, what new? Yes, you can keep your old TV (and your money) and still catch digital. How? Get thee an ADC, an analog-to-digital converter. Where? Here or here or here for about $50 to $100. Get up to two $40 coupons from Uncle Sam here (if they have any left) and save.
2. Keep your goofy rabbit ears. If you use a VHF or UHF antenna, you'll still need it to pick up free digi signals, even with a converter box.
3. Bite the bullet and buy a new one. Make it an energy-efficient digital TV ... or else ... or else ... your tree hugging friends will mock you. And, no, you don't have to buy a fancy HDTV to view digital, just a DTV with a built-in digital tuner.
4. E-cycle your oldie. Here's how, thanks to Urban Green Girl.The good news: Plastic TVs are 100% recyclable.
5. Know your e-cycler. Scrap metal haulers and junk yard dealers are turning a pretty profit by shipping has-been TVs (cell phones, computers, printers, etc.) off to countries with lax environmental laws. Ask to see their E-Steward Certification.
6. Donate your old TV. The EPA has a great list of charities that could use it, or slurp a spoonful of TechSoup.
7. Pay to play. Suck it up (like I might have to) and subscribe to a cable, satellite or other paid-TV service. Remember, if you're keeping your old TV, you'll need an ADC converter pronto.
8. Turn off, tune out and take a Green Hour. For a full hour turn off even thinking about digi-converting your pacifier, I mean, TV. Real life is happening outside. Go out there and live it.

Now this is just a hunch, but I have a feeling the brain-mush-makers at Hulu are behind this evil plot, too. Eat your hilarious heart out, Alec Baldwin. As of tomorrow, I can no longer watch you berate Lemon every Thursday on my antiquated garage TV. That's okay. I'll see you, Jack Donaghy, online any time I want ... like right about now.

Still need help making the big switch? Tune into the FCC and go from there. Good luck, captive audience.